I went out for drinks with my future husband on Friday, and it was quite nice. We were being our usual selves: sarcastic and cutting, and a bit flirty. We ended the night with a hug and even though I was a bit unsure at the time if that was all I wanted, I’m glad it ended there.

We have an undeniable connection, and we bounce off each other well. It’s just really easy with him, and I can be open and honest. But I haven’t thought about him since then, and I’m not really attracted to him.

So maybe the friends thing will work.

It would be nice if it could be that easy with someone else, without having to go through all the shit that we’ve been through. There have been a couple of occasions recently when I’ve been very honest with people, and I felt great after, like it was a huge weight lifted and I didn’t have to analyse all possible scenarios without really knowing what the other person thought. Easier when you’re not making yourself vulnerable though.

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