I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself


My most recent job ended on 31 March, as funding for our project came to an end. I had applied for a couple of jobs before finishing, and got two interviews. I was only able to attend one, and that went pretty badly, partly down to my lack of preparation. I didn’t prepare well because another job came up which I wanted more. Anyway, I applied for that and didn’t even get an interview. I also didn’t get an interview for another job, which I think I could’ve done standing on my head.

I know my application form stuff needs some work: I used to go for quantity over quality, but learnt about the STAR method recently and have been trying to change what I write. Word limits are a real pain (900 words to cover 15+ points?!), as well as differences in online application methods. The job that I wanted didn’t allow space for training (which is a really big part of the organisation) nor education that fell outside normal school or university qualifications.

It would be nice if all jobs could be applied for via the same service, so you don’t have to re-enter the unchanging information each time you apply to a different organisation!

But this isn’t supposed to be a rant about poor methods of applying for jobs: it’s about my unemployment and lack of direction.

I’ve got enough of a buffer to not get worried about being unemployed for a couple of months, so I can still be a bit selective. I also have an open invitation to work for a former employer albeit at NMW. A former colleague has also offered marketing volunteering experience, and there is a possibility I can make use of redundancy funding to do some training. I also have plenty of work to do on the land which can keep me busy, and take a load off my mind if I finally get it sorted.

But it’s still disheartening when you apply for jobs that you know you could do well and don’t even get an interview. I live in a fairly rural area so I don’t expect there to be a lot of competition for jobs. In fact, I would expect the two I got interviews for to have been the ones with most competition, so I’m not really sure how to deal with this?!

I think my biggest problem is that I have no idea what I want to do with myself. I don’t think I ever had a plan about what to do with my Politics and Economics degree. I did my Masters because I wanted to work in disaster management, but I still didn’t have a definite idea for a job role. Lack of funds over the years and Dad dying have restricted my options somewhat, so I’ve flitted from one job to another, mostly based on the fact that they’re nearby. Everyone I work for seems to like me and think I do a good job (even when I don’t think I do!). I can get passionate about an industry once I’m working in it, which probably explains why employers like me. But I haven’t found a job that I really want and am passionate about before I’m working there. And this doesn’t help when I write application forms and go to interviews and have to be enthusiastic about a job!

my life has become this one big "i don't know!"

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/528750812476009508/

And while looking for an image to go with this post, I came across a post on Mark Manson’s website (7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose), which I think might be quite helpful. Maybe it’ll help me figure out a direction, or get me out of this funk, or both. Or neither.

But I’m so ready for this funk to be over.

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