I’m putting off loads of stuff, in my work and personal lives. Some of it just because it isn’t urgent, it would just be nice to do. I often have too many ideas and then overwhelm myself with possibilities and find myself unable to make a decision. But there are things I should be doing on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis that I’m not getting done.
I think this is what has the biggest effect on my mental health. I feel so guilty and ashamed of the things I let slip, I beat myself up about it, I tell myself I need to do better. Sometimes it works for a few days but I never seem to sustain it until it becomes habit.
I tell myself I’ve never been a ‘get up and go’ sort of person, which in one way excuses me, but in another way makes it seem like a much bigger thing to overcome, because now I have to change something fundamental, something enduring.
The more I put off, the more things pile up, the longer the list gets, the bigger the mountain is, the more impossible it seems…