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INTJ

Do parties and crowds fill you with energy, or send you scurrying for peace and quiet?

Daily Prompt

Depends how much alcohol is involved. I’m naturally quite shy and cope better in small groups, but ‘tipsy’ is directly correlated to ‘gregarious’; and unfortunately ‘really drunk’ is directly correlated to ‘making a fool of myself’. Don’t think I’m alone there though!

I find it difficult to get my voice heard in large groups, and tend to be just another face in the crowd rather than an active participant. I’m also one of those clingers: I find people I know and hang onto them as hard as I can. I really hate that!

I do find a couple of things bolster my confidence though. Being with my friends seems to bring out some sort of bravado and I do and say things I wouldn’t otherwise. And I always find it easier to have a job to do at work events. People have to talk to me if I’m on the welcome desk, or are likely to talk to me if I manage a stall.

Following a couple of work events I attended recently and my overwhelming feelings of awkwardness, I have made the decision to improve my networking skills.

I decided a couple of years ago to improve my approachability, and I think the two are inter-related. I also think working on networking and approachability would make life easier when looking for a new job.

The most important thing is to feel confident, and that comes from knowing what you’re talking about and being prepared. That is certainly what I’ve found with job interviews anyway. I think it definitely helps to know who is speaking and on what subject, and who else is attending an event so you can have potential questions to ask.

I had to look up the meaning of this post title: INTJ means nothing to me but apparently it’s an acronym for introversion, intuition, thinking, judgement; which is one of 16 personality types. Looking at the characteristics, I don’t think it applies to me totally. I reckon INFP might be closer to reality.

Music

Playlist of the Week

Tell us how your week went by putting together a playlist of songs that represent it.

Daily Prompt

My week has been one of forgetfulness, awkwardness and general rubbishness. I’ve been forgetting about doing basic things, a haircut appointment, and all the things people rely on me for. I used to be a reliable and responsible person, but I don’t feel that way much now. I don’t feel like a person who can help anyone with something they’re going through, or a person who can do anyone a favour even. And the worse I get, the more I give myself a hard time, and then I get even worse, and so on.

I also had a couple of work events to go to this week. Networking has never been one of my strong points what with shyness issues and stuff, and in addition I don’t really feel like I know enough about my industry to get into conversations with people, or know the questions to ask others about their work. So as I stand around alone while everyone else chats, I feel like even more of a failure, and massively dependent on the few people I do know, and like I’m clinging onto them.

And finally, it’s been yet another week of thinking about Dad, tears and guilt. We’re finally getting the ball rolling with sorting out the estate, but it still feels like a huge weight on my shoulders.

So the week is kinda depressing, butI’d rather post videos of songs that I need to help me out of it rather than remind me how crap it is.

So here goes:

Modest Mouse – Float On

Shit happens, but you’ll cope, you’ll get through it.

Jimmy Eat World – The Middle

For the lyrics: “Don’t write yourself off yet, It’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on, Just try your best, Try everything you can, And don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away.”

I particularly like the end of this video, which is basically about standing your ground, being true to yourself and not conforming to something you don’t believe in or want to do.

Myfanwy

This was played at the end of Dad’s funeral, and has probably been sung by every Welsh choir going, as well as quite a few Welsh bands and singers.