Went speed dating with a few friends on Sunday night. The only thing I’ve really taken from it is that it isn’t my kind of thing.

It felt so unnatural. In what other situation would you stop talking to someone after 3 minutes if you were building a rapport? Or carry on talking to someone for that long if you weren’t? When I think of any guys I’ve liked recently, it’s taken me longer than 3 minutes to make up my mind about them, and whether they’re worth my time.

I’m not saying I didn’t meet anyone nice: there were a couple of guys there who I’d fancy if I saw them somewhere else. But I couldn’t be myself. I was repeating myself over and over until I was bored. I came across as this nice girl, interested in what you had to say and laughing in all the right places. But I’m normally sarcastic and cutting and a bit more mysterious. And a bit freaky.

And without trying to insult anyone who has ever been speed dating or plans to go, the whole thing smacks of desperation and co-dependency. I don’t want to go out with a guy simply because he was the best on offer that night and I felt I had to put one ‘yes’. I want to go out with a guy because I want him, not just any guy. Maybe I’m just too independent and not their target audience, but it wasn’t for me.

One of my friends has had her results: 5 matches. I’ve thrown away my sheet, but I think I ticked 3, and struggled to get that many. I’m very tempted to delete the email without even reading it. Would I really go through with a date if I get any matches? And if there aren’t any matches, do I really want to know if I’ve been rejected by guys I’m not even bothered about?

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