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Social Media


A couple of years ago I had a Tumblr page/profile and quite liked it. For a while I thought it might take over from blogging as it seemed a nice cross between blogging and Twitter.

Today I decided to rejoin the Tumblr community. For about 4 hours, before deleting my account again.

There’s definitely some good stuff in there. But quite often you have to trawl through all the shit people are flinging at each other. My Facebook news feed occasionally has much more vitriolic (uneducated) hate speech than I care for. I don’t go on Twitter enough to really care.

But Tumblr is just a massive amount of people being aggressive and hypocritical, basically saying ‘my facts are FACTS, yours are nonsense – that’s so typical of your *ism.’

There’s good stuff on Tumblr, and funny stuff too: I used to create it and share it! But it’s just mixed in there, hidden. Like real news hidden in media noise.

I got so angry after reading a few posts, and I just don’t want to my emotions controlled like that by a bunch of strangers. Not long ago I thought about doing the #100happydays challenge. I know someone who has done it, and she’s quite chipper anyway; but I thought it might help me focus on finding and noticing the good stuff every day, rather than let the shit take over.

Closing the Tumblr account today was a choice not to let the shit in. Pinterest is a much nicer, friendlier place and I’m happy there. I know there’s stuff I don’t agree with too, but it seems easier to ignore.

It’s a difficult decision to make because I have a lot of opinions and part of me wants to share them, chime in on the ‘debates’.

But another part of me just wants to be a bit more cheerful.


Blogger’s Block

I’ve been thinking and ranting and getting angry and passionate about lots recently, but I just haven’t been able to get it down for some reason. And unfortunately this is stretching as far as my dissertation proposal and preparation, which I’m really struggling with, and I’m in danger of fucking up my good grades.

So, here goes. Time to write things down and hopefully I’ll stop dwelling on things and have time to concentrate on important things.

My living situation.
This is really stressing me out. I have a lodger who grates on me pretty badly. I can’t get rid of him because Mum relies on him to pay off her mortgage, and as she is currently not charging me rent, I’m hardly in a position to complain. So at present, I don’t feel like my house is my home, and the idea of him being around when I get home stresses me out because I’ll have to converse with him. It’s not that he isn’t nice to me: he is. But there is a major personality clash. For one thing, I don’t get through a bottle and a half of vodka in a day. For another, I don’t think it’s appropriate to discuss porn with a 12-yr old (even if they were my own child).

Mum told me the other day that she was considering selling,but was worried about me having somewhere to live. Even though I love my house, I would never expect her to hold onto the house just for me, unless I could afford to pay everything she pays (which I couldn’t even if I was earning money!). I would need quite a big place to fit all my stuff though. And I’d have to decide what furniture to keep. Hopefully she’ll decide what to do before I really get to work on the garden here.

Jobseekers’ Allowance.
So I signed on a few weeks ago, and a couple of days afterwards I got 5 days work with my ex-employers. I contacted the Jobcentre to say I had temporary work (because you’re supposed to tell them about any changes) and they told me I didn’t need to call. I went in for my meeting the following day, and was told that because I’d been working full time, I had to sign off. Even though it was only temporary. Then I have to sign back on again, go through the same meeting, and sign the same ‘my responsibilities’ form.

Nothing has changed in the two weeks since my last meeting! I get that they don’t want to pay me for the week I worked, but what ridiculous bureaucracy for me to have to go through the same process again. Is this really the best system they could come up with? Are we surprised that these people lost benefit details on the train?

Unsurprisingly, my benefits are yet to be processed, but the letter telling me I’m no longer in receipt of them came pretty quickly!

Fucking useless system. No wonder people cheat benefits.

Work and money.
As you may have gathered from the above rant, I’m not exactly in a great financial situation. I’m struggling to motivate myself to find work for the next month until I go away, but at the same time I have nothing. I’m trying to stay positive about work after Japan, but obviously I might have to move. I have to start paying off my loan in October so I have to find something.

I get depressed about my lack of career direction – still. But then I think I’m only 27, I still have at least 30 years work left. Do I really need to be in a hurry? Do I really need a direction, or is it better just to enjoy what I do, and earn enough to pay for what I need and want? I don’t exactly have expensive taste, so I don’t need much.

I keep thinking about New Zealand. Going back and working. If I can afford a flight, I reckon I can earn enough to pay off my loan. Or doing a TEFL and going to Spain. Get paid to teach English and improve my Spanish at the same time.

But mostly I try to avoid thinking about what will happen if I don’t get a job from October.

And I think that’s enough now. Blogger’s block over, floodgates opened. For now at least.


Resolutions 2010 – so far…

Just a quick word about my 2010 resolutions. To recap:

  1. Straight edge
  2. Welsh
  3. More money to charity
  4. More time with friends
  5. Blog more
  6. Become vegan
  7. Reduce emissions
  8. Exercise more
  9. Become an activist

(Apparently I’m not that bothered about boys anymore?)

So the first 4 are still going well. I’m doing a Welsh exam this summer – eek! #5 is going alright. I don’t have the motivation or discipline to blog as much as I’d like, but it is better than it used to be.

#6 got off to a slow start. I was ill for the first few weeks of the year and couldn’t be bothered trying to deal with that and think about being vegan. Its been just over two weeks proper though and all going well. It requires more planning than I’m used to and shopping takes longer as I have to read all the labels. But I’m not starving as people expected!

I haven’t really been actively pursuing #7 yet, but I have installed an energy monitor. I need to start #8 simply because I need to build my strength to vault and stop looking silly because I can’t! And it would be nice to have the flat stomach in the photos from Cat’s party for real!

My facebook page looked quite interesting yesterday: I went through my ‘ethical’ emails and signed up to a bunch of petitions and shared via facebook. So I guess that covers #9! I do want to blog about some of it too because just signing petitions makes me feel like a bit of a ‘passive’ activist.

The Boys thing… I think I need some ground rules more than anything. I’m not actively looking for a guy because I’m quite happy single. But I wouldn’t turn offers down unless I had a bad feeling about the person asking. So…

  1. Fun on my terms
  2. Guys must be interested in more than how I look and able to comment on more
  3. No waiting around
  4. Get shot of him of he’s not chasing me, because he would be if he was interested

New Year’s Resolutions

I thought I’d be ill for the third new years running, but I seem to have shifted it. Huzzah! So I’m out tonight in Ruthin. Not my first choice for a big night out, but it’s who you’re with not where you are. And I thought I’d make a few resolutions too:

1. Become a straight-edge punk. This one started out as going teetotal, but then I thought I’d go all out – no drink, no drugs, no smoking, no casual sex. I’m already half way there anyway. I tried in June/July 2008, but didn’t last very long. Hopefully I’l do a bit better in 2009. (And I won’t be drinking tonight as I’ll be driving)

2. Leave the old boys in the past. Following on from my previous post, I need a clean break from them. Time to meet some new people!

3. Learn Welsh. I need a better standard of Welsh for my job, and honestly I’m quite embarrassed at how rubbish I currently am! I think I’ll start by teaching myself back up to the standard I used to be, then go to a class and hopefully get a qualification at the end.

4. Give more money to charity. This year most of my donations have been through shopping in charity shops and buying good gifts for people for Christmas. Some charities I want to support don’t have these mechanisms, so I think I’ll set up some direct debits too.

5. Exercise more. I’ve turned into a couch potato again. I know it’s mostly cuz of the weather, but I could still do indoor stuff during the winter, and then go riding when the days are longer.

6. Spend more time with friends. Now that I have most evenings and weekends free I have plenty of time to call up friends and hang out – go for meals, for drinks, to the cinema, theatre, gigs, outdoorsy stuff. Anything to get me out from in front of the TV!

7. And finally, blog more. I say this every year but I always seem to fail. But if at first you don’t succeed…